January 23, 2004

One day, in Teletubby land...

Everyone knows that Jerry Falwell claims that Tinky Winky is "promoting the gay lifestyle," right?

Though why he would think so, is anyone's guess.

(Here is the scoop from theory.org.uk.) And here, via The Foo Blog, is someone so far out, Falwell looks almost reasonable in comparison: "TELETUBBIES: Nazi Hybrid Greys in Disguise" (you've been warned). No, wait; Teletubbies are part of a secularizing, goddess-worshipping conspiracy. Then there is the Teletubbies conspiracy site, which has to be a satire. Has to be. Almost certainly satiric is this site about the species Teletubby (Tubbis tele).

I have been meaning to post on the Teletubbies for awhile now. The Pinocchio Theory offered some incisive Tubbie analysis awhile back. And then I was pushed over the edge when my mother, watching with Alex, suddenly noticed that Dipsy has darker skin than the other three, and said, "That's odd; I thought they were all one family." I, on the other hand, have always assumed that they are some sort of anarcho-syndicalist commune (this reading of the show as a hotbed of progressive ideology is backed up by the interpolated vignettes of multi-racial groups of children—real children, whose socks fall down, not the polished automatons on Barney—and the episode in which the mummy of the little girl with the puppies is casually revealed to have a tattoo). The Pinocchio Theory post is worth quoting in full:

I watch Teletubbies now and again with Adah (who is now 15 months old), but I have to admit I love it more than she does. I think it’s the most brilliant kids’ TV show that I have ever seen (or at least, that I have ever seen as an adult).
Teletubbies is pure bliss.The show has a formal elegance rare for TV: a minimalism as rigorous as those of early Philip Glass or late Samuel Beckett. The beginning and end of the show are always the same: the baby-sun rising, and then setting, with the Teletubbies saying hello and goodbye respectively. Once the sun has risen, the Teletubbies run away over the hills; and a voice emanating from one of those tubes that rise out of the ground asks: “Where have the Teletubbies gone?” This enigmatic question is never answered: it is always followed by a series of abstract scenes, with multiple Teletubbies against monochromatic backdrops. There are only four Teletubbies, but they can be “everywhere,” thanks to their multiple instantiations in these abstract scenes. Other elements are repeated from show to show as well, like the mini-films of children around the world, broadcast through one or another of the Teletubbies’ tubbies; and my favorite, the twice-repeated (sometimes more) “Big Hug” that follows the offscreen narrator’s assurance that “Teletubbies love each other very much.”
I also love the puzzling non-narratives that sometimes happen in the latter part of the show: a piece of Tubby Toast is too big for Tinky Winky, Dipsy, or LaaLaa to eat, but Poe (the smallest) manages to eat it just fine. Or, the meadow is mysteriously turned into a big lake, then just as mysteriously back to a meadow again. Or, LaaLaa plays with her (?) ball inside because it has started to rain; but when the rain ends, she goes outside again. Even when these little stories seem like they are going to turn moralistic or didactic, they don’t, but stop short of having a point (I imagine this to be some Western child’s version of a Zen koan, but I don’t really know anything about Zen). Of course, other times there are no such pseudo-narratives at all; the Teletubbies just dance, or march around, or something.
The Teletubbies themselves intrigue me endlessly: it’s so hard to figure out whether their brightly-colored surfaces are skin/fur, or just costumes they are wearing (the seam on their backs suggests it is just a costume, but somehow it makes sense to me that this would be the form of their actual, pre-genital bodies). LaaLaa and Poe seem to be female, because they are smaller and their voices higher; Tinky Winky seems to be male (and gay, as Jerry Falwell claimed); Dipsy remains mysterious to me in this regard. But infantile or pre-genital gender is a strange sort of concept anyway; one thing that is good about the show is that this strangeness is retained intact (instead of being “normalized” by the absurd tyranny of boys-in-blue and girls-in-pink from the moment of birth).
I’m usually not a fan of minimalist art; but here the infantile content perfectly matches the form.

Further to the aesthetics of Teletubbies, via an old post on Law Blog: "Teletubbies inspire new style of jazz."

But are they good for you? Here, just as some have feared, is a photo of someone's baby being hypnotized. But despite what some people say, Teletubbies are educational. Pedro Vera describes how his little one has developed a sense of order and hierarchy from the Teletubbies:

Pedro has an incredible collection of Teletubbies. He has them in all sizes, both plushies and plastic. That is on top of the other zillion toys in the house.

Except for one thing: Regardless of where I find them in the house, I always find them arranged in the proper order that they are presented in the TV show:

1. Tinky Winky (Boy, Purple)
2. Dipsy (Boy, Green)
3. Laa Laa (Girl, Yellow)
4. Po (Girl, Red)

It is not that they are always in a perfect line (they never are) but that Pedro always sorts them by color. From where I am sitting right now I can see two sets setup that way, and I just saw in my own bedroom there is another set (huge plushies, 2/3rds of Pedro's height) arranged on the foot of our bed.

Surely this can only be a good thing.

And millions of viewers can't be wrong. There is quite a fan base out there. Here are links to 8 Track Diva's knitting patterns for Teletubbies projects (I love the hats). And paper crafts ("All projects require a toilet paper roll to complete"). And cupcakes.
Electronic tubby postcards from the Netherlands.
A webring.

Of course, not everyone likes them. This picture from the frisky Alive and Blogging is frankly disturbing, though I am not entirely sure why since I have worked out my own Tubbie taxonomy which includes a few of these elements (Dipsy=dipsomanic is a no-brainer). Must be the R. Crumb-does-the-playground idea. Mike Rogers would appear to have some serious Tubbies issues. Along with a nightmarish picture that is NOTHING like Teletubby Land, he offers a shoot-'em-up called "Teletubbies mercy killing." And here is another shooting game, though I couldn't figure out how it worked. But my heart wasn't in it.

Then there is the Teletubbies virus hoax and the Teletubbies quiz:

Uh-oh!

And finally (be still, my heart), one can buy one's own Noo Noo.

Tubby successors: Boobahs. On this side of the pond, watch for them Jan. 19 on PBS.

Scribbled at January 23, 2004 04:35 PM AST | Hmmm? (0) | TrackBack (1) | Link Cosmos | More? films/tv, parenthood, pop cul, pop cul, quizzes/etc.




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Tracked: February 24, 2004 01:10 AM